battling anxiety

As Matt and I have discussed his recent anxiety, we've been graciously reminded that thankfulness to the Lord helps us combat anxious thoughts. Paul explains in Philippians 4:5-7...
5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Why thankfulness? In finding ourselves thankful to the Lord, we are recalling His past goodness to us. We are reminding ourselves that as He was faithful in the past, He is unchanging, and will be faithful even now in the midst of any circumstance that might otherwise be causing us to worry.

For Matt's belated birthday gift I made him the following gift which I hope will be helpful to our whole family. On each rock we are recording the small detailed ways that the Lord does indeed answer prayers all around us! Many times we are able to remember the ways the Lord worked in big things (meeting our spouse, providing a job, helping during a move, etc.) but we overlook His care in details that are easier to forget. My hope, is that we will write on our rocks His work and His answers in our midst. When our glass vase gets full, I'll transfer those answers into our journal and discard the rocks, buying more blank rocks to record more of the Lord's work. Sure, we could start with a journal and skip the rocks altogether, but a visual reminder is sometimes just what I need.

Here's the process:



the supplies I found at Hobby Lobby



some of the more "monumental" answered prayers of the past to start us out

I originally saw the idea for a Blessings Jar here, (at I Can Teach My Child) and thought it might be a great family tradition for the holidays. I hope to use this idea with Moriah and our children someday as well, in a more family worship way, in a living room etc. For now, Moriah would eat the rocks, throw the rocks, and break the vase so it will stay on the dresser in our bedroom instead :)

things I love about Moriah... right now :)

I've been reminded lately that there are many small and seemingly insignificant details about life with Moriah that I love! I don't want to forget these moments, and while they aren't huge developmental milestones they bring me such joy as her mom. I hope you don't mind my sharing. Again we praise the Lord that I'm with her and can enjoy each of these small things throughout the day. This is just what the Lord desired for us as a family, and we are thankful.

~her serious "ma-ma!" if she's restless as she falls asleep and thinks she needs me... this often follows the sound of her pacifier as it falls to the ground
~the click of her little tongue as she plays from time to time
~her sweet cuddles with her new tiny baby doll my mom gave her for her birthday (we're trying to capture a picture or video of her, it's SO adorable!)
~her enthusiastic grunts when she's ready to eat or sees something in particular that she'd like to taste... yesterday it was a peach smoothie, oftentimes lately it's been watermelon or at dinner cheese cubes or black olives (we're working on sign language and manners, but things are more urgent for her at the moment and she'll have none of it!)
~her love for dogs as we saw when she played with Grandma Nancy's Yorkie, Lucy and Grandma Theresa's German Shepherd, Pyper



~a mischievous sideways smile she flashes each time she's pulled up and wants us to notice her accomplishment!



~the funny thought process she must go through as she sees a bow lying around (because she's pulled it out) and tries to lay it on her head, knowing that's where it goes, but not sure how to make it stay



~her attempts to "learn" body parts with me as we name them and point... I think her favorite is "tongue" which she readily sticks out and grins

a book lover in the making...

If you've ever been to our home, you have no doubt that Matt and I both LOVE books :) While we own many books that we haven't read yet (not for lack of interest I assure you), I think it's safe to say that either he or I have read most books on our shelves. There are even a precious few that we've both enjoyed :) Oftentimes one of us will try to "sell" our most recent favorite read to the other, but we've come to terms with our differing tastes lately and instead concede to read lines, paragraphs, or pages out loud to satisfy the desire to share a good thing! As a result of our love of books, Ms. Moriah can't help but find herself to be a book lover too, right?! I know it's never good to force interests, but a love of reading can be tailored to any age or personality so while we wait to discover what she'll enjoy on her own we're having fun finding our own favorites as we read to her. These are her most loved reads lately...



All Asleep... I picked this up a Half Price Books soon after Moriah was born and loved the rhyming text (I am a former Kindergarten teacher who could talk for awhile about the pre-reading benefits of rhyme!), and whimsical illustrations. This is the perfect bedtime story which we read nearly every night. Moriah's favorite parts? When I read "Whisper softly, take one last peek the babies are all fast asleep" in a whisper voice!



Big Red Barn... a classic! We don't own this book as a board book (it is stashed away in our storage unit with my farm animal books in a bin), but did enjoy it from the library. I renewed it many, many times as it was the longest book Moriah has been engaged by to date.



Am I Big or Little? I found this book in my early days of teaching at Tuesday Morning while browsing with my mom. I think I was initially attracted by the red headed little girl. Now I love reading this sweet story to my own little red head :) The little girl in this book is asking "Am I big or little?" to her mom who explains that while she's big enough to do some things, she's still little enough for others. So sweet! It reminds me as I read to enjoy the moments now with Moriah as my baby before she's all grown up and these days are behind us.



Teddy Bear Teddy Bear... another Half Price Books find :) Moriah likes the rhyme I think, and also seems to enjoy the illustrations (she's even giggled while reading with me). I remember singing this song and jump roping... the final pages of the book explain the motions to the jump rope chant which we'll enjoy in a few years I'm sure!



A Good Day... we spend a lot of time at Half Price Books and before Moriah was born I was very concerned that I didn't have a board book library for her, so I started buying them frequently! This book caught my eye because it was written and illustrated by Kevin Henkes who is a favorite children's book author and illustrator (look him up... Chrysanthemum, Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse, Owen, Julius Baby of the World, etc.). This story is simple and sweet and the illustrations remind me a lot of wood carvings which enchant me.



Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes came from a Scholastic Book Order (which is miss from my teaching days!) before Moriah was born. What a sweet book it is full of baby illustrations portraying children all over the world. In spite of their different homes and clothing each baby has "ten little fingers and ten little toes"... at the end enjoy reading about the next baby born "who was mine all mine"

As I started this post, the list of favorite read alouds grew and grew. I'll have to add another follow up post in the days to come with more of our most loved books. I'm so thankful that Moriah enjoys reading and hope that she will continue to be a reader throughout her life. Happy reading!

learning lessons

Most recently Matt and I have found ourselves in the middle of hard lessons that the Lord is kind and patient to teach. Our prayer is that we are learning as the Lord teaches, even if our learning is slower than we'd wish. Since moving to Louisville we've found ourselves enjoying life "on our own". We've been able to live comfortably in our own apartment decorating it and enjoying it just the way we've chosen. We've been thankful for many blessings from the Lord during our time in Louisville, including stable jobs which have provided for us to be living debt free. We've been diligent in the ways we're able, and have been proud of ourselves. And that is problematic. While we do acknowledge the Lord's providence and goodness, we've also remained proud of our hard work and accomplishments, as if we've done these things on our own. This is most certainly NOT the case! The Lord is the giver of all good things, and nothing has come to us if not from his hand. Such an attitude also causes great pressure... that we must keep up and maintain these things. Matt especially has been overwhelmed by this pressure lately. While he may have been a worrier for much of his life, these days have been much harder. Anxiety had consumed him in some ways (the Lord however keeps us all in his care), and he had not been sleeping many nights. His weight loss over the last few months is also obvious, though I didn't realize it since it was a gradual process. After a night without sleep things became very difficult. The Lord was good and protected us all, no one was never in any physical danger though emotionally speaking it seemed terrifying. Many good and godly friends supported us with prayer, phone calls, and company. Currently Matt is doing well. After our week of vacation with family in Kansas City, we returned to Louisville well rested. Matt has been talking with our family practitioner who is pursuing testing to determine high levels of calcium in Matt's blood. This physical problem exacerbates emotional ones, the doctor explained. In the meantime we're learning...



Independence and making it "on our own" is not all it's cracked up to be. When difficulty comes we're also "on our own" in a sense as we're distant from family who know and love us most. (We are so thankful to the Lord for the many good friends who are with us here in Louisville and offer endless support. He is good at all times and has shown Himself though them most recently.) While everyone has difficulties of one nature or another, we should never assume the rough parts of others are enough to keep us at a distance. No one has it all figured out! We realize that to rely on anything more than the Lord is idolatry. The Lord does provide family for us all, these people have known us longer than anyone else (even our spouse if you're recently married like us!). They have known us longer, and in some ways DO in fact know us better. They support they offer is indeed unconditional and comes graciously. How arrogant we were to think that being "on our own" would in some ways be better. Sacrificing autonomy (which can be selfish autonomy for me many times) may pay big dividends in sweet love and support in the most difficult days.

We're thinking about these things and the wise words we've heard from Wendell Berry while discussing these issues with him. The Lord has the wisdom and freedom to calling us as He sees fit in the future. We are more open than ever to humbly considering what it may look like to return to a place that is more familiar than new. We are thankful that the Lord teaches us every day.

remembering and thankfulness

Today I enjoyed a morning walk with Moriah. We strolled through the neighborhood between our apartment and the seminary's campus. The homes are lovely and the sidewalks are old, which gives us a lot to see with some bumps along the way! As we walked up to the campus I noticed a couple of girls reading their Bibles and journaling while sitting in a sunny spot on the sidewalk. I realized that a church camp most be using the campus as its venue. My thoughts were quickly confirmed as Moriah and I made our way onto the main square and saw students everywhere. Some were sincerely studying the Word and praying intently in spots allowing the solitude I'm sure they were encouraged to seek out. Others were in larger groups, and one even made a comment that "this is a church camp, doesn't it look like I'm talking to Jesus" as his on-looking leaders tried to disperse the group surrounding him.

Watching these students my mind was quickly reliving days when I'd been in similar situations. First as a student myself, I remember being sent out to have "quiet time" before the camp day could begin. Journaling was always helpful to me and I had a variety of journals over the years which accompanied me on camp excursions. Many of my old Bibles also have notes in the margins to remind myself of particular insights pastors shared, or truths the Lord was confirming to my heart. Then as a student ministry leader, I spent a few (three or maybe four?!) summers with students trying to spur on their pursuit of the Lord, all the while organizing games that might be entertaining, fun, and or gross enough without too much danger (usually that was our downfall). While games were not my cup of tea, I enjoyed helping a team of interns like myself as we developed journals for students, questions for small groups, and room assignment so that everyone was comfortable with at least one good friend. I don't know the eternal significance of that behind-the-scenes work, and I've often talked with Matt about it. Since I have no solid conclusions I won't go into that train of thought. Rather, I'll trust the Lord and His providence. That He was at work somehow in spite of us as fumbling interns who assumed much and misspoke often while trying with great weakness to teach about Christ.

*I really wanted to include an infamous "brown t-shirt" Summer Jam picture here of my favorite interns and myself... I tried and tried to no avail though I'm not sure why it didn't work!?!

These days were full. The times outside basking in the sun while seeking the Lord seem to have passed so quickly now. I don't think I knew then what a precious time I was afforded. But as I walked home and saw a homeschooling mom to five in her screened in porch I realized that I need not wish for tomorrow while missing the joys of today. This is a common and repetitive lesson in my life. I find myself thankful now, knowing that some day I may look back on our seminary life and think "wasn't that a sweet time... better than I ever realized". I'd rather know today that this life is a gift of God's grace and is to be treasured as a pointer to Himself and His abundant goodness.

our days...

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve added to my blog. While I usually find myself reading other blogs almost daily, I don’t often have a lot I think “blog worthy” myself! I have a few ideas now, and hope to try and blog each week on my day off so that those of you who are far away will have an easier time glimpsing into our world.

So this has been a typical day lately…
Moriah is waking up at 7am hungry! She doesn’t give me much time before it’s obvious that eating takes priority over a diaper change or even getting dressed for the day.

Our mornings are usually filled with playing around the house, going on a cool summer walk, visiting with friends and their little ones, or heading off to work (where we often go out for the morning – library, park, etc.). When I work we have a 30 minute commute which allows Moriah time for a cat nap.



On Fridays I’ve found the morning to be the best grocery shopping time. We try to get to Kroger early, around 8am-8:30am so that we can finish there and head to ALDI by 9am when they first open. Their selection seems best early, and we’ve found ourselves in a funny ALDI Friday morning crowd with most of the same (elderly) faces week after week. Needless to say, ALDI shoppers are remarkably friendly and I usually leave feeling like Moriah is a mini celebrity after speaking with so many people about my baby, her big brown eyes, chubby cheeks, and curly red hair!

Depending on our morning (and whether or not she’s had her cat nap), Moriah usually naps for about 45 minutes or an hour at 11am. During this nap I’m able to pick up toys, wash or put away dishes, or unload groceries if we’ve been home.

When Moriah wakes up it’s about lunch time! She eats very well these days… I’m hoping to post some of her baby food “menus” soon. Mr. S. is also a big eater, so lunch is usually promptly served and eaten within the span of only a few minutes – seriously!

After lunch we find more time for playing or running errands if we’re home. This is also the time Mr. S. typically wants to head outside to play when I’m working, so although it’s the hottest time of day we don’t stay out too long and Moriah has a chance to sport her sweet summer sun hat.



Moriah’s afternoon nap is very consistent and offers her the rest she always needs by this time of day. She doesn’t always go right to sleep, but usually does and most often sleeps for two hours or so. Mr. S. also has an afternoon nap, so most days they both sleep from 2pm-4pm. When I work I fill nap time with The Martha Stewart Show for an hour, then my current book (I hope to update you with some reviews) for the next hour. I also clean up the playroom, do laundry, and dishes. If I’m home, I clean up, iron Matt’s clothes, and read as well.

At home, Moriah wakes up to play for a bit before our evening is in full swing. If I’m working we get things cleaned up and play (as calmly as we can) for the last hour or so before we head home at 5pm.

Moriah eats at 5pm-ish or as soon as we get home. Then I cook dinner while she finishes off her finger foods with an ever-increasing independence. It’s a good day if dinner is well timed and on it’s way to the table when Matt walks in soon after 6pm. If Moriah’s finished eating and cleaned up, it’s an even better day. And if the table is set and dinner has made it there while staying warm, it’s a BIG jackpot for me, haha!



After dinner it’s time to clean up and give Moriah a bath. This summer our ever-other-night bath routine has become just about every night after sweating, swimming, and playing in ways that seem to make even a baby girl a bit dirtier. After Moriah’s dried off and ready with a night time diaper, we enjoy two or three stories together (I hope to review some of our favorites soon), sing a song, and pray before we lay her down to sleep in her crib.

That is the typical rhythm of my day, and it is one I am SO thankful for. The Lord has given me tremendous grace and abundant provision is this calm season, which is centered around Himself, my family and home. I am very blessed for the opportunity to serve God, Matt, and Moriah in these ways every day.

an adoring mother

These are a few things I especially love about my sweet girl right now... by tomorrow she'll be doing something different I'm sure, but I don't want to forget these precious moments:

~lots of "bbb" sounds as she rubs her fingers against her lips, "raspberry blowing" I guess?!
~"dada" is a common word, "mama" has happened occasionally but with less intention I think, and "baba" too
~when I pick her up in her crib as she wakes up in the morning or after her nap she grabs me and squeezes her little hands so tightly as if she just wants to hold on and not let go!
~when she's been playing on the floor or in her jumperoo and is excited to be held, she paddles her little legs so fast as I lift her up
~her most inquisitive look as she grasps things in her hands, turning them every which way and "studying" with such intensity and often a furrowed brow, I think she's already a lot like her daddy :)
~if she sees a "favorite" toy she squeals then sort of pants, and almost seems to flap her little arms with elation... her favorites now seem to be things that make noise, like Sullivan's Little People airplane and Munchkin Mozart Music Cube, or her Tiny Love sound book, or the wind up toys I've been using to entertain her during tummy time - a little squirming caterpillar and a head bobbing hopping chick
~bathtub splashing is two-fold fun now... kicking with her legs while I recline her to wash her long hair, then waving her arms as she sits up to play while washing her body
~tummy time is becoming less aggravating to her and she's even starting to pivot around as she plays and reaches for things
~when tummy time is over in Moriah's world, she's started rolling (think log rolling) here and there and everywhere... a few times in a row during any one blanket play session
~sweet smiles when I sing, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" which seem to be all-time favorites
~leaning forward in her high chair to look for Matt when he's in the kitchen and just barely out of sight
~watching her excited smiles each evening when Matt comes home from work and she sees her daddy who is her biggest thrill!
~sleeping on her tummy for the first time this week as she rolls herself over in the night, but stays content with it... no more precious baby gowns, now we're on to big girl footed sleepers
~a new bedtime routine which includes board book reading with mommy and one song then prayer, it seems to help a lot since she has more "wind down" time as we read and less singing time which brought on sleepiness but made it hard to be laid down
~eating lots of baby purees which are of course getting thicker, if she starts losing interest I can always win her over with her seemingly favorite fruit mix of bananas, apples, and pears with flax seed... thanks to the Baby Love cookbook I've kept from the library using all the renewals I can before returning it soon
~watching her face of first time joy with any sort of new fun... her eyes squint and her little nose even wrinkles while a squeal comes out :)
~realizing new sounds as she responds to them for the first time, usually with laughter... shaking a bottle of nail polish was lots of fun
~holding her arms out when she's ready to be picked up and almost "jumping" into our arms
~a messy milky face after she finishes nursing... a bit of a sloppy eater it seems :)